About Soulmates
Joseph Nolen (1991)
To the young, and some not so young, the question and possibility of having a soulmate or twin ray is fascinating and perplexing Is there or isn’t there? Esoteric Cosmology says that the sparks of Divine Consciousness that emerged from the Center a t the beginning of a cycle of manifestation were bipolar or contained both sexual aspects in one body. Physical differentiation occurs much later in involutionary time. There are still a few animals and insects that have fully developed, functional male and female sexual organs in the same body such as snails, certain kinds of fish that change their sex, and the famous Egyptian dung beetle-the Scarab. Its male and femaleness was revered as a symbol of Mother-Father God. The consciousness of Man undergoes no such physical dichotomy, only a preponderance of one’s mental and emotional sexual polarity over the other in a body. Evolutions moves us to increase the expression of the lesser.
Now what happens during this long process of involving and evolving is not precisely known. We d o not know if the emerging pairs continue in exact parallel existence, in and out of embodiment at the same time, and always in close association, lifetime after lifetime. That is an undocumented mystery. However, lives there a soul so un- aware as to have never felt this universal yearning, i.e. “There must be a complimentary part of me out there somewhere, just waiting for fate or whatever to bring us together for perfect fulfillment.” Thus was born the concept of an exclusive Mr. or Ms. Right.
There exist certain metaphysical organizations that either state or imply that within their order it is a possibility/certainty to meet ones soulmate and thereby experience heavenly bliss on earth as a natural result. I can not rule out the remote possibility of this occurring, but the bliss of such a union would depend on how one accepts the life lessons that each reflects to the other at their particular stage of growth.
We seek harmony and perfect happiness in marital union, but in our state of incomplete spiritual evolution the joining of two unfinshed souls would not produce the bliss we desire so deeply. No problems-no growth, and if we are committed to growth, as we must be to tread the Path of Conscious Return, our closest relationships will mirror to us our negatives; and wives and husbands are certainly of this order of closeness.
Our evolving is under the conscious guidance oft he Inner Teacher. And through this we are inexorably attracted to the marital partner that will march us smartly along on our journey of expanding consciousness and mastery. This is the fulfillment we need. On observing the continuous hunting going on among the members for this perfect union, Ann Davies said, “Your soulmate may be in or out of embodiment right now; may be of the same sex as you and may be embodied halfway around the world. In your present partly evolved state, it is possible that union with an equally unevolved soulmate would be a bitterly unhappy and contentious experience. What is needed in the ‘other’ is the right combination of qualities-weaknesses and strengths – that will interact with our own patterns in progressive way. You can be sure that involves quite a bit of strife-not just continuous bliss. We must discriminate in what we really want in life.”
What is commonly hoped for in this yearning for the soulmate is a partner who is perfectly understanding, so never critical; totally supportive, always and unconditionally there; knowing and responding to our unspoken needs; never looking a t another; always perfectly groomed, accomplished, and, of course, handsome and/or beautiful. Let the world see our love and envy.
Gothic romances in book form fill this need and the pockets of many writers, but rarely, if ever, does Life. This kind of love is exclusive in its nature, and as aspirants on the Path we realize our loving must become inclusive. We have had many useful lifetimes experiencing exclusive love, and we have firmly planted the memory of that love feeling in consciousness through repetition. On the Path we are trained to let that feeling flow to all.
Have you ever noticed that when a tree is severely topped, soon many small green branches sprout around and over the cut, hiding it in a profusion of new growth? At some point on the Path the aspirant is placed in a position where he/she is denied normal connubial expression (cutting a major branch) so that many small but more universal (inclusive) loves can be developed. And oh, the groans that go up when this happens! “Dear God or Whoever, all I need is a loving partner and I will make such spiritual progress that I am certain to be chosen for the Spiritual Olympics.” Such a lovely paradox! We cry out for unconditional love, and the greatest gift is to be able to love unconditionally! Infancy is hard to abandon.
Yet, we are loved unconditionally by the Inner One, Binah, the Great Mother, the Holy Ghost, the One that is ever with us. We simply forget (for a while) that true love limits. The child who is allowed to d o anything knows very well no one really cares and rails against that revealing lack of limitation. In limiting our opportunity for normal marital love, our Internal Lover is really liberating our Divine Love nature and in the process is rearranging our expectations about the process of unfolding.
Unrealistic expectations bring us a great deal of pain throughout our lifetimes until we learn to expect nothing but growth. Pain and discomfort correct our direction on the Path. Surely we can see that they are not punishments by a God we have personally displeased, or the workings of an inexorable and impersonal Karma. They are only signaling a misalignment with reality – to pay attention! Between the stick and the carrot on the evolutionary path, we come to bless the stick as the real mover, Binah. Remember, the Sephirah of Severity is on the Pillar surmounted by Binah and the Great Work is accomplished by the feminine aspect of our Being, that lovingly limits within the bounds of the great Law of Being. “Filled with understanding of Its Perfect Law, I am guided moment by moment, along the Path of Liberation.”